Is it Guns or Mental Illness? Why not both!

The gun debate is America is all the hot rage and for very good reason. Both sides of the argument are heating up with the recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida. My condolences go out to all that have been affected in this tragic situation.

Many argue that this is not a gun issue but one of mental illness. This is logical as without mental illness these shootings would be unlikely to take place. A great show is Mindhunter on Netflix. It shows the psychology of serial killers and the new idea of phsycho-analysis. The men in the show, which is based on real life, go against the common misconception at the time which was that serial killers are born evil. Through interviews these two FBI agents see that it was their life experiences that started them down the killing path. So in essence it was a preventable outcome and was a mental health issue. They usually were neglected by someone close to them such as a parent. So that plays right into the “school shootings are an outcome of mental illness.” It does make sense and many will argue against it just to make guns the more relevant issue.

I am a progressive person and I want to see change when it is necessary. Obviously, in the case of school shootings change is needed. The gun argument is that if the guns were taken away the shooter would be much less of a shooter without a gun. This is very true and we can see it with the statistics even after adjusted for population. Taking away the guns would stop more of these tragedies from happening. So for the second amendment advocates they swing more towards whatever protects their right to bear arms. But it is an amendment meaning it can be changed.

It appears we have reached the epic struggle. Mental illness vs guns. Well which is it? BOTH. Taking away the guns stops so many of these tragedies saving lives and as a short term solution is much better. On the contrary treating the mental illness and combatting the unfortunate circumstances many of these killers come from will be a better long term solution. Taking out the mental illness stops most if not all of these shootings. Taking away guns does the same but these mentally ill people are still going to do irrational and vile things. This is why both sides need to work together to reach a compromise. It seems that it is no guns or all guns. This in America for the foreseeable future will never be an outcome that will work.

The assault style weapon (AR-15) is the weapon of choice for many high death shootings. One side wants to ban it and one side wants to keep it… duh. Personally, if taking away that rifle from the public saves one child’s life then I am all for it. Many people do not view this in the same light as I do. So if you are pro AR-15 then tell me why your right to carry a weapon that has no real use to you is more important than a child’s right to live? I see in the pro-gun community, many are also pro-life. How can you be so contradictory? You feel that all life is created equal and no one should take another life yet here you are vouching for maintaining a weapon that is taking lives.

Another common argument is that the AR-15 is not the gun killing the most people so why should it be the main focus of a ban? Handguns are indisputably the most widely used weapon in homicides. However, in the current state of crisis it is not a call to ban guns that are killing the most people. That will come later but for now, it is about a gun that is killing children in a place where they should feel safe. Everywhere should feel safe but especially a school. Stealing away a child’s innocence and life is not okay just to protect a gun that “is not even killing the most people.” As a society we must band together and strike at every little piece we can to help protect people. If you are a true patriot then saving the lives in your community is much more important than your right to own a firearm.

I am hearing President Trump talk about arming teachers. WOW! That really went 0-100 really quick. Guns in school are a problem so what is the solution you ask? Add more of course. How could that ever go wrong? Both of my parents are teachers and have been for very long, so being the curious person I asked them their thoughts. My parents were unanimous in deciding that it is a horrible solution. Most teachers would not want to carry a gun first of all and secondly how reliable would they be in a situation of crisis? Most teachers would not challenge an active shooter and nor should we expect them to. They are molders of young minds (hopefully) and not a counter terrorism unit. Children can be caught in the crossfire and it would be brutal. Teachers may be prone to lash of and in extreme cases fire on a student or a student could overpower a teacher and take their weapon. Although those are extreme circumstances it is possible. On the topic of arming teachers, I am completely out.

Do not get me wrong, I can understand both sides of this argument and am always willing to have my opinion changed if new evidence arises. I just do not see any other way forward than a gun law change until better mental health services prevail. I think guns are cool and I would love to own one. I know that I am responsible and most gun owners are. But to me, giving up a gun to save even one life is worth it no matter how sentimental the gun is to me. I have seen many brave gun owners standing up to the growing issue while browsing the internet and I am proud of them for doing so.

In all honesty no one can determine the best outcome for this whole situation but we at least have to try. Measures need to be put in place and people need to take action. I am in support of the Parkland teens stepping up and encourage others to stand beside them. I also encourage the other side challenging them. Without the opposition the best outcome will not be reached even though any outcome will take more time. Not everyone will be happy but I guarantee the children that could be the next victims of a shooting will be happy when action to prevent their death is agreed upon.

 

 

The Key to Happiness

The emotion of happiness is somewhat hard to quantify in everyday life. One might never feel true and complete happiness. Happiness is what everyone truly desires in life and for each person to achieve true happiness it starts with a friend. This can range from the barista at your local coffee shop, maybe it is your partner or a family member. It is someone that you connect with and are able to discuss ideas freely and openly. Without this person it is very hard to work towards goals. With no support you may feel hopeless and trudge through the abyss headed only towards more darkness. The second key factor in finding happiness is setting an achievable goal. The last component to true happiness is accepting what hardships are thrown your way and combatting them. These three steps combine to make you happy, but it needs to coexist with expelling the things that make you unhappy.

We can strike a balance of happiness to unhappiness in life. There is no true and eternal happiness until the person can engulf themselves so deeply in a happy life that all inconveniences are so miniscule they are almost discarded. The small hurdles and mistakes cannot penetrate the heart of a person who has reached ultimate happiness. To me regret is a big one here as we can learn from mistakes but punishing ourselves too harshly emotionally has serious repercussions. Another huge unhappiness factor is suffering in silence. People need to be heard and understood. Misunderstanding a person’s intentions is the quickest way to forcing them into a shell that can sometimes be irreversible and that leads to their unhappiness in large quantities. People cannot control who understands them and I will try to provide explanation on combatting the feeling that you are misunderstood but also shed light on the power of trying to understand for that can bring happiness to all.

Step one is the hardest one of them all. That one person that can turn your frown upside down. No matter what anyone says I believe someone is out there that can change your life for the better day in and day out. Disregard the past and future with this person and just live for the present day that your parents have granted you. It should not matter what skepticism you have for your future with this person, if they make you happy now take full advantage of that because it may not happen ever again. So many people think of “the one” as the person they want to marry. A deep loving connection and need to satisfy each other. But it does not have to be the person you marry. Never ever give up on someone who makes your life more joyous for the thought that someone might be better. This may contradict your thoughts about risking it to take a leap of faith with someone new, but I will tell you how this will go wrong.

So, you have just met a person you think can be life changing. It is a fantastic feeling and one that cannot be put into words. I have seen many people take the leap and run off with this person excluding so many others in their life just for a chance to make things work. In my experience, I have observed it almost never works out the way they thought it would. The person turns out to be totally different than their initial evaluation. When everything goes south, what does the person who disregarded the people in their life do? Well its simple. They are emotionally destroyed when they find out the people they called their friends are not there anymore. They have lived their lives on their own, developing and understanding that isolation with anyone is not going to be functional. The friends feel betrayed which caused them unhappiness and feel that the person that left them will only do it again.

My golden rule when deciding who could be a potential happiness factor is to never leave someone out of the equation. No matter what race, religion or creed they belong to that might contradict your beliefs, they could be just what you are searching for. This is no better demonstrated than in the political setting. With so many opposing viewpoints it is hard to believe that politicians on either side could make each other happy right? Wrong! Differing opinion without violence is vital, it is what keeps the human race on top. I will point you to a great man named Daryl Davis. He is a musician that spent time with the members of the Ku Klux Klan. At this point I hope you see the controversy and if not, I will state it bluntly, Daryl Davis is a black man. He is a revolutionary thinker in my opinion as he realized that if he could make these KKK members his friends he might be able to change their minds. One of the most hostile groups targeting African-Americans in the United States of America and this man walks in there looking for friendship. It seems confusing, but it is not that hard. It is like capitalism, if you have something that helps me, and I can give you something for it that helps you then we both benefit. Now Daryl is believed to have convinced 200 Klan members to leave the clan. He gave them happiness that they could not obtain themselves. Those men joined the Klan for a reason, Daryl happened for a reason and both of these men have something in common. A faceless power brought them together. It may not have been a god, but it sure feels like something is at work here. He had a KKK member hear him play the piano at a bar and was so struck by the way he played they bonded and race did not matter due to other interests. Had Daryl or the Klansman been in different places that night none of this would have happened. They were both put there for a reason.

The way we find friends may not always be clear but the journey to find them forms the bond we will have. Every moment and choice you make has an effect and a meaningful one so make your choices carefully and never take things for granted. Be optimistic and reasonable and you will find the person that turns a dark, dreary night into a bright and beautiful sunny extravaganza.

Achievable goals are attainable through hard work and perseverance but should never be easy to get to. Now the achievable part is so that you know it is within the realm of possibility. Things like becoming a CEO of a company you built from the ground up is a great example as long as it does not consume everything you are. The happiness comes from the journey when you truly work hard, not the end product. The satisfaction that you did it and each smaller goal on the road to success grows character and happiness. After you finish and have met the needs, you will realize it was never about the company at all. It was the inner need to be proud of yourself and see that you really could do anything you put your mind to. Personally, I could never find happiness in the long arduous road to becoming a CEO of my own company. The long work weeks are completely undesirable. My goal now is just to finish this book. Every day I set a word count that I make myself achieve that each time I do I feel accomplished. I understand that I am doing something I want to do and when I finish I will see that the grind was worth it… at least I hope I will.

Motivation is the one of the hardest entities to achieve. It cannot just be attained. The way I see it is that motivation for a person only comes in the face of passion. If you have a passion for something, then you will be motivated to work towards it. Otherwise what is the point? The big picture is so hard to imagine. Well why do I have to do this to get that, was a question I asked myself every single day, until I started writing. It is my passion and I realize that I will have my fair share of struggles, but I work through them working towards my achievable goal. Smaller goals headed toward a much larger goal can help with motivation but simply putting up with it is not motivation it is simply cooperation. You are cooperating with the system, not doing anything be happy just content. You will leave work and say “meh.” Cooperating with the system is good to an extent, unless it keeps you from achieving the happiness you are entitled to. Happiness is however your responsibility to find and no one else’s.

Setting a goal and achieving it is so vital to getting true happiness. Once a goal is set take pride in every accomplishment that aids in the completion. This is step two in finding happiness and without the goal you may never fell satisfied with yourself. There will always be the what if factor and that will come up in more detail later in the chapter but for now I will leave it at, never look back and feel regret.

The third crucial step in finding happiness is to take misfortune in stride. We cannot control how every facet of our day turns out, but in most cases, we can control the end product. Nothing in life will be silk but rather the Rocky Mountains. For every valley there must be two peaks and that is the important thing. Life will knock you on your ass every single day; How will you react? You see you determine how you react to events but do not necessarily control the events themselves. Just remember that it happened for a reason. Treat it as a test of your character and beat the living hell out of it. Get up, dust yourself off and throat chop the unfortunate circumstance you have stumbled upon.

The reaction is the fundamental character in a person. Each person lets different events form them differently, let your formation be positive. Reacting violently and aggressively never turns out well. Taking the time to understand the event will help you better achieve a solution. Whenever something is thrown your way catch it and throw it back. Look at the event as a gift, something that will change your life, because it will. Maybe that event that looked so morbid stopped you from propelling into an even worse nightmare. Remember that it happened for a reason and assume that it is a good reason for dwelling in pessimism never helped a soul.

What if I worked harder in high school and went to Harvard? What would life be like today if I worked harder at hockey and baseball? Would I be a professional athlete? Looking back on my life, I would change many things if I could do it over again. Realizing that I cannot change it is one of the best revelations I could have come to. I dwelled for a long time on decisions I made in the past and they put me in a hole. Almost six feet under the ground at some points. The regret nearly buried me alive and my mistakes I can only imagine are much more childish than yours. However, the past is the past and if you dwell on the past you cannot take full advantage of the present.

Regret is something I think needs to be buried six feet under for everyone. Certain situations require a level of regret but when the decision you made almost on serves you negatively, let it go. The past has happened and unless amends can be made for it right now it is not worth feeling sorry for. Your life is dictated by your choices and the choices I made have let me live the life I am living now which is not so bad. The thought of living a different life is cool and helps me escape my problems here but it is not healthy. The human race needs to direct less attention to the past and be content at working towards a better future. Yes, certain things happened in the past that are unspeakable and led to death and despair. Looking back on these horrible things is amazing. It helps us to not repeat the past and learn from our mistakes but never feel regret for what happened. Never feel like what happened historically is a direct result of you. Understand this in everyday life as well. It is not always your fault. Things in your life shaped you to make the decision you made at the time and it is your duty to learn and not repeat but to never engulf yourself in the regret. Once you have learned forget about it. It bettered you now and that is what is important. The present is something no one should take for granted and everyone should be pleased that they have made mistakes. For without mistakes the human race would not still exist.

The life you have is important not only to you but also to others. In the last paragraph I talked about history and how you should not feel sorry or personally responsible. I will stand by that for the personal happiness but now I would like to travel into group happiness. Group happiness is much harder to explain and certainly much more controversial especially in the society that we reside in. There is constant fighting and outrage. Controversy surrounds us, Republican v Democrat, Conservative v Liberal, Race v Race, Nationality v Nationality are just some examples of the conflict due to misunderstanding. Many people say they understand the other side but rarely do they ever. If we want group happiness and ultimate cohesion between everyone people need to learn to listen. Group happiness comes down to individuals and until people stop seeing a group instead of a person then these conflicts will never end. Writing about politics will be praised by mainly and condemned by others, so in my attempts to make this minimally political it will never be completely rid of politics.

I want to share a story that everyone can relate to. I went to a very small elementary school called Duffins Bay. It had about three hundred kids with grades going from junior kindergarten to grade 8. The whole building looked exactly like a prison, even some of the windows had these weird bars on them. I know this was to stop balls from cracking the windows at recess, but it added to the prison effect. Going to school was never my forte and those who know me can attest to that. That was a direct subtweet at my mother, father and sixth grade teacher. Starting in junior kindergarten, which does not exist in most places, I met a lot of kids. Of course, I had my close friends but the class all did things together. The teacher would read a story and we would all sit there and listen. I would listen from the time out chair at the back of the room but that is beside the point. When we played everyone played together. Whichever toy I wanted determined who I played with. It did not matter who it was because I wanted the toy. There were no groups, and everyone worked together to achieve the common goal, which was at that age was a butt load of fun. As I grew older I began to enter into more refined social circles based on the interests I had at the time. The social circle is the second most influential part of a child’s life, surpassed only by the parent. Once this social circle is refined however, I found that people accepted things others said to fit in and when they heard it enough whether they believed it initially or not they decided it was true. As we grow older this becomes more and more apparent. People just want to be a part of something.

Fast forward 14 years and now I am at university. The things I loved and cherished as a small child have disappeared along with the things I believed in. My views now are radically different from even a year ago. This is partly due to being in a different crowd of people. In high school more than ever people need to feel accepted. It is a human desire to be so. This is when the dark side of people becomes more amplified. Innocence is now stripped from people in order to fit in. If their ideas do not match a certain social standard they change them. It is the saddest thing ever and I was a victim of it myself. I am not the most socially capable person and now I am able to embrace that but at the time I needed the acceptance and many people will not have a change in emotion for a very long time. The need for acceptance from others is a problem that there is no solution to. Anyways back to high school. In the ninth grade I had my friends through hockey. I had not talked to most of them in years, but it was nice to reconnect and later I was part of that social group for maybe a month. Then I was not so much so. I was a bit of an outsider and to this day I do not much understand why. Grade nine and ten were tough for me emotionally. I did not have the happiness I craved but I was not capable of the radical change I would need to undergo to fit in. But then I realized my person from step one of individual happiness. It was someone I least expected at the time and that was my brother. He essentially saved me and gave me the social skills I needed to escape high school. In grade ten he invited me to his grades parties (he is a grade older than me). This gave me the opportunity to get the social knowledge to fit in with the kids I wanted to fit in with at my own age. In grade eleven I became more a part of my own ages social group again and developed those friendships. It made me happy to be a part of this group and I did not achieve the group happiness until this point. That is what I find so sad now. My happiness was determined by the group I belonged to. I hate parties, but I liked belonging to something, so I just went with it and tried to make the most out of it.

What I find most disturbing about my need for acceptance at the time, is that most people cannot come to the conclusion I am at now. That true happiness only comes from the individual. When I read the news I always see the conflict. Black lives matter versus police officers is one I see a lot these days. I respect officers for their service and I respect Black Lives Matter for standing up for a cause they believe in. However, I do not feel that many of them know the cause for which they claim to fight for. They see it as a place to feel acceptance. A cause so broad in objectivity that any person can be a member. The need for belonging is satisfied but the individual happiness is not. Neither the group or individual will find true happiness and harmony. In no way am I saying black lives do not matter because nothing could be further from the truth but what I am saying, is if there is not attainable goal and if people are not a true member of the cause then they cannot be happy. The people who join these groups for the acceptance need to realize that when they put themselves in these situations they only subject themselves to more beliefs that they will be forced to accept. The same is with groups like the KKK. If a member joins for the acceptance without accepting the beliefs their mind will be tainted with evil and until they return to self-reflection happiness will not occur. We must get away from group identity because it only takes away from individual identity. And when individual identity is stripped so is individual happiness.

Misunderstood people have the hardest time with acceptance and sometimes become very radical. I am of the mind that people are born neutral. Their upbringing shapes their thoughts and beliefs. In no way would I ever justify the killing of another human being, but I do feel that serial killers are misunderstood and were not subjected to the resources they needed to be happy. They kill to fulfill a craving of acceptance and happiness. Many come from abusive homes which make it seem that they will never be accepted, and this leads to the unhappiness. If people could see that all they needed was a friend, a true friend, then I think combatting serious crimes like this would be much easier. I feel required to provide a solution that can help aid in the fight to help the young potential serial killer stay on the right path but in today’s society I am not convinced there is one. Abuse and neglect in the home is so hard to see and although I wish I had the solution, I need someone to find it. People have a right to happiness and when someone totally strips the opportunity away it is the most crushing thing I can see.

Happiness is not easily attained and never will be. Not one thing can make someone endlessly happy. The pursuit of happiness should always be number one on a person’s list and they should not let anyone take it away from them. Whatever group you belong to does not completely take over your identity for it is you that has the main say in chasing the things that make you happy. I hope that one day everyone can see that they can find happiness without the acceptance of others. It is hard to see that it is possible and goes against our human instincts to care about what others think of us. Caring about your image of yourself through your own eyes is the only road to true happiness.